Is This Really 40?

I'm six months deep at this ripe old age and I’ve been thinking a lot about being forty and what that actually means. No, not in a panicky, existential crisis kind of way. More in a reflective kind of way.

Since Covid hit in 2020, it’s somehow become completely acceptable, even fashionable, to not really make an effort anymore. No makeup. Joggers as daily wear. Trainers everywhere. The whole casual chic, clean girl aesthetic. Hair slicked back into a bun or ponytail because frankly, it makes life easier. One less decision. One less thing on the never ending to do list of living.

And honestly, I was fully here for it. For the last five years, I’ve lived in leggings, joggers, flats and trainers. Minimal makeup. Comfort first. Plus, it’s fashionable right? With all the relentless noise about waking up at 5am, journalling, meditating, doing yoga, drinking lemon water and getting your steps in etc. etc. before the sun even thinks about rising (seriously... who actually does all that and still functions as a human?), the idea of not having to make much effort because “effortless” was the look felt like a relief.

Easy. Almost too easy.

Now, maybe this is me overthinking because I’ve turned forty. It absolutely could be. But I think I miss the effort.

Yep. I said it.

And before anyone jumps in, this is not me telling anyone how they should dress. If you love minimal style, if joggers are your uniform, please be my guest. I am not, nor ever want to “should” anyone. But something shifted for me recently.

I bought a pair of suede heeled boots the other day and I swear they changed me as a human being. How dramatic is that?

For context, I’ve spent the last five years in trainers or flats, with the odd party heel dragged out for special occasions. These boots though… they’re different. They can be dressed up or dressed down. Which immediately sent me into a spiral of “but when would I actually wear them?”

I don’t really dress up to go out for dinner anymore. During the day, it’s trainers. So when exactly do these boots make an appearance?

Cue a deep scroll into an Instagram vortex.

Eventually, I found a few outfit ideas that felt relaxed but pulled together. Casual, effortless but with some flare. And honestly… they looked great.

So why am I telling you this?

Because it made me realise I think I forgot how to dress like someone who lived before 2020. I forgot how to make an effort. I forgot what it felt like to put on a heel and feel slightly more put together. Slightly more… me. When I see friends or clients who have made the extra effort, I would be so 'wowed' by the effort they put in, I mean why bother?? I get it though, it makes sense.

Let’s be clear, I am not back in underwired bras yet. That’s a bridge too far for now. My Lululemon 'Like A Cloud' bras still take centre stage at pretty much every event. But progress is progress.

Is this my age? Is this what happens at forty? Do you suddenly want to dress like a grown up?

I’m not sure.

I did see a TikTok recently where a woman said something along the lines of, “You have to live your life like the fabulous woman that you are. Why are you embarrassed to show up overdressed or overly glamorous? What’s wrong with looking too good? Why do we shame people for making an effort, but celebrate looking scruffy?”

And it stuck with me.

Why is it such a flex now to be relentlessly casual?

The 'Life Changing' Zara Boots

Because here’s the thing. Wearing those boots made me walk taller. I swung my hips more. I made more effort with the rest of my outfit, my banter was off the scale and we all know I'm a hoot and a half at the best of times 😉 purely because of these ridiculous, fabulous, rather sexy Zara boots. And with that came confidence. A boat load of confidence that I never felt in my leggings and sweats. The confidence I used to have in my twenties - when I wore heels all the time and had some swagger.

So from now on, I’m adding a casual heel back into my life when I feel like it. Not every day. Probably not every week. But enough to remind myself who I am.

I also purchased a faux fur, long coat. It's so over the top. It's like I'm living in my J Lo/Diddy era minus the baby oil and white parties, but about fifteen years too late. I don't care though, it's bloody fabulous (and warm!) and I will be mincing around the streets of Manchester until the Spring in it! Who am I? Emmaline friggin' Tsui that's who!

I’m allowed to look fabulous. At any age. On any day. Without guilt. Without worrying about making someone else feel scruffy because I’ve made a bit of extra effort.

Covid dampened our style more than we probably realise.

This year, I’m bringing mine back.

Look out world. Em’s got her groove back baby.

E xx