"Just Relax!" Oh Sh*t! I Never Thought Of That!

Growing up, my mum used to say to me that money was the root of all evil, and for a long time I believed her without really questioning it. I absorbed it, accepted it, and carried it around as fact simply because it had been said often enough by someone I trusted.

It wasn’t until my late twenties, sitting in a therapist’s chair, that this belief was actually challenged. She asked me how I felt about money and I repeated what I’d grown up hearing. She looked at me, genuinely puzzled, and said, “How can it be evil? I love money!” That one sentence shifted something in my brain and made me realise how many of our beliefs aren’t actually ours. They’re inherited, then repeated and rarely questioned.

If you asked me now what I genuinely think is the root of all evil, I wouldn’t say money.

I’d say stress. Stress is the root of all evil.

Stress has a way of touching everything. It creeps into your sleep, your hormones, your digestion, your mood, your relationships, and yes, your skin. It influences how you eat, how you move, how resilient you feel (thank you Oura ring for reaffirming I feel like crap with a actual score to prove it!) and how patient you are with the people around you. Left hanging around for long enough, it can easily snowball into anxiety, burnout, or that constant feeling of being on edge without really knowing why. Like that 'tired but wired' feeling we can get sometimes.

And yet, when stress shows up, we’re usually met with the same advice. “Just relax.” “Try not to think about it.” Delivered with good intentions, I’m sure, but wildly unhelpful when your nervous system is already in overdrive. Oh shit. Groundbreaking. Why didn’t we think of that sooner?

Over the years, and especially through everything that unfolded for me in 2025 - yes I'm still banging on about it, I’ve started to see stress differently. I don’t see it as something that always needs fixing or calming down immediately. I see it more as a sign that something is shifting.

“This too shall pass” is something I hold onto, even though it can sound a bit cheesy when you first hear it. It's like my anchor I guess. When everything feels overwhelming, sometimes you need a thought to cling to. And when I look back on my own life, I can see that things often do happen for a reason, even if you can’t see it at the time. It’s only with hindsight that the dots start to join up.

One of the biggest things I learned in 2025 is that the darker the place you’re in, the more light tends to appear on the other side. Stress and discomfort often sit right alongside change, and change hurts. It can really fucking hurt. It’s not meant to be easy or comfortable. If it were, it probably wouldn’t be change at all.

What I know now is that when I start to feel uncomfortable, emotionally or physically, it usually means something is shifting. A chapter is closing, a new one is opening, and instead of immediately spiralling, I try to zoom out and see it for what it is. I’m on a new path, a new journey, and I’m going along for the ride because nine times out of ten there isn’t really another option. Sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump into the abyss, because what other choice do you have?

That doesn’t mean I never feel stressed. I absolutely do. But when it shows up now, I try to ask different questions. What is this asking me to change? What might this be leading me towards? What good could come from this, even if I can’t see it yet? Is it actually worth stressing about even? (because it generally isn't) Call it finding the silver linings if you like, but it’s been a game changer for me.

When I’m feeling stressed, I always start with my go-to rituals. They’re the things that tell my body it’s safe before I do anything else. That might look like listening to one of my Skin Meditation Club meditations at night, or having one in my headphones while I potter around the house. I’ll usually make myself a mug of my Tsui Apothecary Time Out lifestyle tea, because it genuinely helps me to slow down rather than keep pushing through. I’ll burn my oil burner with my Calm Botanical Essence, or sometimes just shake a few drops onto the shower wall so the steam carries the scent around the room. Please don’t do this if you have fancy white marble though, I’ve learned that lesson the hard way.

Most of the time, that combination is enough to take the edge off and bring me back into my body.

But there are moments when it isn’t.

If I’m holding onto a lot of nervous energy, calm breathing or sitting quietly doesn’t always cut it. That’s when I move. For me, movement is the release. A walk, some yoga, a workout, or, if I really need to burn it off, straight to the star jumps. I know that won’t be right for everyone, and for some people it might actually make things worse. The point isn’t the method, it’s finding what works for you. This just happens to be what works for me when everything feels a bit overwhelming.

Now, ok I have to bring it back to skin, because this is a skincare blog and there’s a reason I’m talking about stress here.

Stress and poor skin health go hand in hand. Not just because stress can directly affect the skin barrier, but because of everything else it’s linked to. Poor sleep and food choices, less movement, more inflammation, higher cortisol. All of that shows up on your face eventually. Skin starts to look dull, grey, irritated, congested, or just generally unhappy.

When you’re stressed, the last thing your skin needs is more pressure from you saying that it's not good enough.

If we can start to reframe stress, lean into it a little, learn from it, and understand that even when we’re right in the thick of it, this too shall pass, then good skin health will come. It just needs time. And patience. And a bit of kindness towards yourself.

So if your skin is misbehaving during a stressful period, please don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re already dealing with enough.

And on the days where none of that feels possible, that’s exactly what a good facial and a shed load of makeup are for.

Thank you so much for reading,

Emmaline