How To Do ORGASM-Maxxing

Every time I open social media someone is 'maxxing' something. I saw eye-maxxing the other day. I think it had something to do with eye shadow but, in all honesty, I scrolled straight past because I'm almost maxed out on all of the maxxing... well almost.

After writing about my Tsui Life Pyramid last week and explaining how each layer can influence our skin and overall health, I found myself wondering whether there was one thing that could positively affect several layers at once. Then I realised... orgasms of course!

I know even the word orgasm can make some people recoil in horror. I've had clients visibly cringe when I've mentioned it and I completely understand why. We've somehow managed to attach so much shame and embarrassment to something that is one of the most natural experiences our bodies are capable of. But they're free, they feel wonderful and, perhaps surprisingly, they're also incredibly good for our health.

We've reached a point where it's perfectly normal to chat about Botox, cosmetic surgery and crazy expensive longevity treatments over a matcha, yet when we mention pleasure (in particular women's), we all suddenly become terribly British and forget how to make eye contact.

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you're reading this, although my orgasm blogs do always seem to get far more views than most of my others. I'm certainly not expecting you to start shouting about orgasms from the rooftops either. I'd simply love women to feel a little less embarrassed and a little less guilty when talking about pleasure. Heaven knows we already have enough things we're expected to feel ashamed about.

What are the benefits of an orgasm?

During orgasm our bodies release oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins, while cortisol (yes lots of chemically names here sorry), our main stress hormone, falls. Blood flow increases, muscles relax and we generally feel happier, calmer and more connected afterwards.

When I looked back at the Tsui Life Pyramid, I realised a healthy orgasm has a surprisingly positive influence on almost every layer.

STRESS

This is probably the easiest one to understand. Orgasms help reduce cortisol and encourage relaxation afterwards. Sadly they won't pay your mortgage, answer your emails or stop the dog barking, but they may well make you feel far less overwhelmed by all of those things.

SLEEP

Many women say they sleep better after an orgasm, which is thought to be linked to hormones such as oxytocin and prolactin. Better sleep means better recovery, and as we know, our skin rather likes it when we've actually had a decent night's sleep.

DIET

Stay with me on this one. No, orgasms aren't replacing your food shopping. The bigger benefit is that when we're sleeping better and feeling less stressed, we're often less likely to reach for sugar, caffeine or comfort food.

HORMONES & WOMEN'S HEALTH

This is probably one of the most interesting layers. Orgasms increase blood flow, improve natural lubrication and strengthen the pelvic floor through repeated muscle contractions. Some women even find they help reduce period pain. And before anyone panics, I'm not suggesting hours of passionate love-making on day one of your period. A few minutes by yourself counts too. Sometimes that's all any of us can be bothered with anyway on our P's!

SKINCARE

This is the bit you've all been waiting for, isn't it? Increased circulation helps deliver oxygen and nutrients around the body, giving many women that lovely post-orgasm glow. Reducing stress can also have a positive effect on inflammatory skin conditions. I'm obviously not suggesting you swap your cleanser for an orgasm, but it certainly supports everything else you're doing.

LIFESTYLE & EXERCISE

It's not going to replace a gym membership let's be honest, although a particularly enthusiastic session does burn a few calories (five to seven per minute actually - I will let you insert your own jokes here). Sex gets your body moving though, your heart rate increases and your circulation improves. More importantly, it can help you reconnect with your body and lift your mood, which is never a bad thing.

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

This one almost explains itself. If you're in a relationship, it can strengthen intimacy, communication and connection. If you're single, it's an opportunity to understand your own body better, discover what you enjoy and feel more confident communicating that in the future if you choose to.

And just in case anyone needs to hear it... ORGASM-Maxxing doesn't require a partner!

EXTERNAL INFLUENCES

This is probably the only layer an orgasm can't do much about. UV rays, pollution and certain medications aren't suddenly going to disappear because you've had great sex, so please don't throw your SPF in the bin. Seven out of eight layers isn't a bad score though.

So, how do we become better at ORGASM-Maxxing?

There isn't one right way because everyone is different. Part of the fun is giving yourself permission to become curious about your own body and learning what genuinely feels good for you, rather than what you think should feel good.

If you often find yourself stuck in your head, try bringing your attention back to your breathing. Slow, deep breaths help calm your nervous system and make it much easier to stay present. You could also experiment with keeping your eyes open or closed and notice which feels more natural. Whenever your mind wanders off to tomorrow's shopping list or work emails, gently bring your attention back to what you're actually feeling in your body.

Don't rush the experience either. We often treat orgasm as the finish line, when some of the loveliest benefits come afterwards. Give yourself a few minutes to lie still, enjoy the feeling and let your body soak up that post-orgasm glow before immediately reaching for your phone or jumping up to empty the dishwasher or some other mundane task!

If you're with a partner, don't be afraid to talk about what you enjoy because none of us are mind readers. If you're on your own, give yourself permission to explore without any judgement. I'd always recommend using a good quality lubricant, trying something different if you're curious or introducing a toy if that appeals to you. The whole point is discovering what works for you, not what works for everyone else.

If feelings of shame, embarrassment or guilt keep getting in the way, it may be worth exploring where those beliefs came from. For some women, talking things through with a psychosexual therapist can be incredibly freeing. Our relationship with pleasure often starts long before our first sexual experience, and changing that relationship can have a positive effect on far more than our sex lives.

Now I've finished writing this, I've realised this blog is just another reminder that our health is never made up of one single thing.

That's exactly why I created the Tsui Life Pyramid. Every layer influences the next. Better sleep affects stress. Lower stress influences our skin. Feeling happier changes how we move through the world, the food we choose and even our relationships. One positive change often creates a knock on effect that reaches a lot more than we originally expected it to.

So perhaps this summer, whilst everyone else is busy maxxing something on TikTok, we could all spend a little more time ORGASM-Maxxing instead. Your skin will probably thank you for it, but I have a feeling the rest of you might too.

Thank you so much for reading,

Emmaline